Being a stepparent can be a thankless job

You know that feeling when you are babysitting someone else’s kids and you find yourself OVERLY cautious with the kids? You fear them crossing the monkey bars, because WHAT IF they fall. You cut up their food in tiny bits because WHAT IF they choke on their food. When you take them outside to play, you make sure they have on proper coats, hats, mittens, etc because WHAT IF they get cold and possible frostbit. You watch everything you say in front of them because WHAT IF they tell their parents a “new” word they learned form you. You monitor any movie or TV shows because WHAT IF it is inappropriate and you just aided a new negative behavior to brew within them.

For this reason I could never have been a teacher. I would be so preoccupied about the WHAT If’s; that I couldn’t concentrate on what I COULD teach them that is positive. All teachers have the most respect from me along with admiration!

Now that I am a stepparent, all the WHAT If’s come to mind on a daily basis. I make sure I watch my mouth so they don’t go to their mother, school or friends to share what their “step mom” taught them. What the _____ happened in here? I stress about meals, making sure they are balanced and healthy to provide the needed nutrients for growth. Finish your milk before you leave the table. I monitor candy, sweets and other non-nutritional items. No, you can’t keep your Easter or Halloween baskets in your room to graze on. I make sure all movies; TV shows and video games are suited for ages 9/10. No, you cannot rent HALO. I am fearful of broken bones, so I have to put a kibosh on many requested activities. No, you shouldn’t stand on the skateboard, get pulled down the hill by him while he rides his bike.

My name at home is “Fun Wrecker” and I where that badge honorably. Yes, kids are kids and there will be a time when I cannot protect them. My hope is that they will learn right from wrong and possibly actually calculate the risks before they act. But right now, while I am leading them, I can TRY to keep them from harms way.

I have always believed, with ALL my heart, I was doing the right thing by making sure I was a good example to my step kids. Even when my voice or decision is unpopular with them, I believe (and hope) someday they will appreciate me. In my heart I know I have tried as much as possible to be the best parental figure.

With all of this being said…. Why is it that the maternal parent can do everything they want, not even within reason, and it is OK? Letting a 9 and 10-year-old watch Gran Torino horrified me. Her reasoning was that she wanted to explain things to the kids herself, instead of learning it at school. I am not sure HOW you explain Korean was Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, Racial slurs and Gang Rape to kids that still sleep with blankies.


Why is it OK for her to let her 10 year old read the Twilight books? If a Google is entered on the age appropriate for the series, every response was age 13+. Not to mention it isn’t even carried in the school library, which has always been a standard of appropriate reading material.

Now, does this mean I should just let the kids eat, watch, do whatever they want because their mother does? NOT A CHANCE. I have too much self-respect to let my parent duties become a popularity contest. The not so fun part is the kids know they can do what they want with their mom, but not with their step mom. I love these kids and care about their mental and physical health. I will drudge on, pushing my way through the eye rolls and snake eyes, to deliver on my Marital Promise.

WOW, I really DO live in a fairy tale, too bad I am the Evil Step-Mother.


So, again, I say…Being a stepparent can be a thankless job.