The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From the Tree

I have always thought that whatever we like the least about ourselves, we typically pass that onto our child ten fold. But I also think this goes with the most LIKEABLE traits we have. We aren’t always content enough to give ourselves credit when it comes to the good things we portray.


I watch my child struggle with homework and school work on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. Thanks goodness the subject matter has changed and he has gained strength in some areas. I could kick myself for being so lax in college, never studying until the night or morning of a test. Did I do that out of sheer laziness or was it actual impedance?


Recently, I was driving Noah to school and I was running late, had multiple work deadlines on my brain, forgot my lunch and umbrella and for some reason didn’t sleep very well. These are NOT excuses. These are somewhat daily occurrences that compacted all on the same day. This wasn’t just any day, this was a day when my tolerance to such stressors was at a low. Anyway, as we drove, an elderly person zigged and zagged in the 2 lanes ahead of me making me cautious to use the passing lane to get around them. Under my breath, I let out “Argh, can you go in a straight line you old fart”. Form the back seat, a condescending voice emerged, “Mom, that is someone’s dad, someone’s grandpa – how do you think they would feel knowing you said something so rude?” Gee, where have I heard THAT expression before? Yes, from my own lips. I guess he does listen and does understand how saying something can affect others around him. Score 1 point for my parenting skills!

As he hurries through everything he possibly does and I ask him to slow down, again, I am blaming myself for my own impatience. I get so focused on something and have to have it NOW, that I don’t always do proper checks and balances of need/want. Buyer’s remorse is part of my normal occurrences.

I don’t remember a time when I was confident of my physical body, EVER. Those that know me very well, know the story of my dad taking me to the County Seat in 1983 to get new jeans. As I wanted the relaxed fit, pleaded Lee Riders he protested that LEVI’s were a better quality. So, as he tried to get the stiff, starched, scratchy denim up and over my thighs, he said “If I could just get them over your thunder thighs…”. No, that didn’t leave any scaring at all.

I went past Noah bedroom recently, a bit after bedtime, and he was on the floor doing sit ups. I asked what he was doing. He said he wanted his belly to be flat. Trying to be open minded, I asked why. He said he didn’t want a fat belly anymore. It broke my heart. How do you explain to an 11 year old that hasn’t hit puberty yet that his body will be different some day. But, I think back to my own upbringing and the LITTLE physical exercise my family encouraged. So, I told him that his body was just what it needed to be for his age and size. I told him if he wanted to start using weights and exercise I could show him some things. I didn’t want to give him the classic mom “NO” and make him feel like I disregarded his feelings. I know what it is like to stand in a dressing room at age 9 and 36 with tears.

What else do we have in common?
We both seem to identify and cheer for the underdog.
We are very conscious of our surroundings and are able to take the temperature of the person nearest to us without even having a conversation.
We use manners whenever possible.
We can let others know our mood by just one flash of the eyes/face.
We struggle when people don’t like us, and will sometimes make poor choices to get that person to change their opinion.
Love animals and pets.
Love to make others laugh.
We both even have a fondness for Eminem.

I have no regrets in what I have passed on to Noah. If anything, it makes me want to address my shortcomings to prove to him that some things truly are changeable. Watching him grow physically, mentally and spiritually is my biggest reward.